All right. I’ve been asked about this particular product too many times now, so it’s finally time we talk about The Wine Rack.
Yes, the Wine Rack is a bra type apparatus, that can be filled with wine, beer, or any other beverage. It can hold up to 25 ounces, and increase your bustline up to two cup sizes! Apparently, the younger crowd likes this sort of thing for pub crawls, or concerts or other things. However, I can think of several reasons why this is not a practical way to store wine.
1. Wine needs to be kept at a proper temperature. If you are wearing this, chances are your wine could be getting up to 80 or 90 degrees. That would utterly ruin the quality of your wine, and degrade the taste of the wine.
2. If this is meant to sneak wine into establishments that would otherwise not let you drink alcohol, I’ve got news for you – that’s illegal, and you will end up in jail. You might think jail is glamourous, and you will get to meet Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton, but that is not the case. I think. I wouldn’t know for sure, because I’ve never been to jail, because I don’t do things that would involve jail as a consequence.
3. If it increases your cup size by two sizes, you will stretch out your shirts. Buying new shirts in this economy seems like an unnecessary expense.
Now, I know I sound like a stick in the mud, but I’m not. I know how to have a good time. One time, in college, I stayed up so late that I was 5 minutes late to my morning history class. So don’t tell me that I haven’t lived on the edge. I just think wine racks are serious business, and you shouldn’t have your wine rack be part of your wardrobe!
Anyway, what do you think? Let me know in the comments!