Wine Racks Blog

As you know, I’ve recently become aware of the blog that is called Bike Racks Blog, the blog that is known as the most dangerous site on the internet. I recently tried to have a conversation with Mr. Larry Wilson, the proprietor of the blog, but of course, I should have known better. You can’t reason with madmen. But still, I wanted to reach out, even though people advised me against it. I guess it seems naive, but I wanted to try to understand the person that would post such things like Cold, Chilling Holiday Nights demand you chill out with some stone-cold Holiday Deals!? Here is a transcription of that interview.

Hello Mr. Wilson. Thank you for agreeing to this conversation.

“I dare anyone to debate me on things.”

Well, I appreciate your candor. First, I would like to know…why do you only write about bike racks? Don’t you find it excessive?

“I’m sorry man, I got magic and I’ve got poetry in my fingertips, you know, most of the time, and this includes naps. I’m an F-18, bro.”

How far-reaching is your blog? Last I heard, although your blog is done for ’shock value’, the reach is only middling.

“I don’t live in the middle anymore. That’s where you get slaughtered. That’s where you get embarrassed. From the prom queen.”

What? Who’s the prom queen? That doesn’t make sense.

“Look what I’m dealing with, man, I’m dealing with fools and trolls.”

Excuse me? Are you referring to me? This is supposed to be a civil conversation.

I’m so tired of pretending my life isn’t perfect and just winning every second and I’m not perfect. You just look at your loser life and then they look at me and say “I CAN’T PROCESS IT,” well, no, you never will, just stop trying. Sit back and enjoy the show.”

How dare you, sir. I write one of the top rated blogs on the internet. How dare you speak to me this way?

“Oh wait, can’t process it. Losers. Winning. Buh bye.”

At that point he hung up. As you see, I was correct in my initial assessment of Larry Wilson. He is a dangerous man, and he, his blog, and his outrageous views on bike racks should be approached with extreme caution.

What doesn’t need caution is this wine tote.

The One Bottle Tote from BUILT NY is the perfect way to transport a bottle for a party or a picnic. This insulated tote is made from neoprene - the same durable padded material as wetsuits! The soft grip handle makes this bottle tote easy to move. This bottle tote can stretch to accommodate bottles ranging in size from 750ml to 1 liter. This wine bottle bag is machine washable, and can drip dry.

I like how it carries one bottle of wine, and it has a handle.

Recently, I became aware of a terrible website, one that has been called an “internet hate machine.” I’m sure you know which one I’m referring to, but in case you don’t, it’s called Bike Racks Blog.com. It’s a shocking place, run by a Mr. Larry Wilson, and all he does is incessantly talk about bike racks. Bike racks, bike racks, bike racks. It’s like he has a strange obsession with them. It cannot possibly be healthy. Frankly, I’m worried about the children who would go to this site, and the impression that they would get. Basically, Larry Wilson is running a “no rules” type of organization. In an interview with the New York Times,  they asked him about his site moderation, and he said that “the power lies in the community to dictate its own standards” and that site staff simply provided a framework. This sounds like anarchy to me. It’s shocking.

What isn’t shocking is the amount of great wine racks for sale lately! Have you seen this one?

Neat, right? A space-saving and eco-friendly solution for your growing wine collection! The Open Diamond Cube rack is the ideal storage solution for your odd shaped, champagne, and magnum bottles. This wine bottle rack is made from government certified plantation grown mahogany, making it an environmentally friendly alterative. Detailed assembly instructions and all hardware included. This wine storage rack kit is precision engineered: notched, fitted and all holes are pre-drilled for easy assembly.

I like how it’s big and can hold lots of bottles of wine.

Ha-ha! Babies can’t appreciate wine!! Their palates are far too underdeveloped. It’s true! If you give a baby an immature chianti, they would drink it right up, and not even care that the acidity is unbalanced. I think it has to do with the posterior fontanel not being completely fused. Any doctors out there…can you help me out with this?