Wine - The Great Cure-All
People who know me, know that I love a good joke. So when I got this message at my weekend wine club meeting, I just had to pass it along to all of you!
Beware, Wine Lovers! There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand.
This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (W.O.R.K.). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with W.O.R.K. put your jacket on and go to your nearest wine shop. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (W.I.N.E). The quickest acting W.I.N.E. type is called Massive Eradicating Liable Objectives Toner (MERLOT); this is both easy to find, and affordable. The next best equivalent is Personal-Internal-Nonsense-Overload-Tasker (PINOT). We found a more potent variant; the Zealous-Infection-Neutralizer (Z.I.N.) that we found to be incredibly effective.
Choose the one most suited to your particular malady and take the antidote repeatedly until W.O.R.K. has been completely eliminated from your system.
Take your chosen antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. This virus is DEADLY (Destroys-Every-Available-Decent-Living-Youngster). After extensive testing it has been concluded that Best-Equivalent-Extractor-Remedy (BEER) may be substituted for WINE but may require a more generous application
Ha ha! Don’t worry, it’s just a goof. This message may not have been doctor approved, but it certainly is a prescription for the blues. And it’s true, nothing is more relaxing than a good glass of wine. Wine has health benefits, too! Actually, a bottle of wine is similar to a bottle of medicine in another way - they can both be hard to open.
That’s why you need a good bottle opener. This Easy Grip Corkscrew is a good all-around bottle opener. Since it has patented gripping technology, it firmly grips both standard and flanged wine bottles. This makes opening your bottle as easy as one-two-three. And it has a slim profile, so it will slip easily into a jacket pocket, or can be carried in your purse.
We can also learn a lesson from this corkscrew - it can inspire us to ‘get a grip’ when we feel too stressed out. Tonight open a bottle of wine, pour yourself a glass, take a deep breath and enjoy your evening. You deserve it!